Sometimes Pleasure is Pain

"You can please some people all the time, and you can please all the people some of the time. But you can't please all people all the time"
-Bob Marley

Who's not a fan of Bob Marley? I'd like to focus on the last statement in this quote.
How many of us want to be perfect and do everything right? As humans we need to accept that we can't do everything perfectly. This also includes giving all all notions that we can please everyone all the time. No matter what, there will always be someone who is not quite as satisfied as everyone else. We are all different; we have different wants, desires, passions, fears, preferences etc. This is not inherently bad. Certainly it is unfortunate that so many of us are left dissatisfied after a decision as simple as what movie to watch. But that is a fact of life that all people must accept at one point or another; 'you can't always get what you want.'

But the theory can also be expanded to greater decisions in life such as who to marry. You may be happy, your fiancee may be happy, your mother, father, sister, brother's dog might be happy. But there will always be that one person who is upset; maybe it's your grandfather, uncle, great aunt, or childhood friend, who wished you had picked your previous boyfriend/girlfriend. We must accept the fact that all our decisions have consequences, and all people are affected by them, directly or indirectly. We must come to the realization that whether negatively or positively our decisions have weight. We must decide whether the decision we make is worth the affect it will have on others; because you can't please everybody.

What's Really Important?

"What you do with your life is not nearly as important as who you do it with."
—John Green

Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to do something important with their life. Accomplishments are everything to the world; getting a job, getting into school, how other's form their opinions of you. Every little act matters. People sometimes say, find something you love to do and do it. When you're looking for a job, find a job that you love. But what if it's not about what you do so much as who you do it with. This can be witnessed in all aspects of life, the good, bad, and the ugly. For example, now I haven't traveled a lot, so I can't know for sure; but it appears that backpacking through Europe would not nearly be as fun as if you had someone to complain about the blisters with. On the flip side, those who have few material possessions, their families seem to be the richest in happiness because they went through it with their family.

This revels a certain pattern about ourselves as humans. For some reason, when we go through something, it brings us closer together. This also can go both ways, when people work hard at something, and then accomplish it, they grow closer together. There is someone solitary and binding about enduring or rejoicing in something with someone, rather than alone in a house by yourself. So why is it that doing things together is more important than what you do? That being with your husband or wife is special, even if you are doing just homework? It all comes down to priorities and what you want. As humans we crave company; there are few things treasured more in life than a kiss from a spouse, a laugh with a friend, or a hug from a child. We want someone to be there standing alone beside us, whether it be a spouse, friend, or yes even a cat. And whatever happens, at least you'll have each other. And that's why doing things with people is more important than what you do. Because surely, the things you'll be thinking of most when you're on your deathbed is who (if anyone) is sitting next to it, rather than how many awards are hanging on the wall.

Binary Light and Darkness

"One thing you learn when you've lived as long as I have-people aren't all good, and people aren't all bad. We move in and out of darkness and light all of our lives. Right now I'm pleased to be in the light."
-Neal Shusterman

So I really love Neal Shusterman, he's written a really profound book—called Unwind—about morality and what it means to be alive. Some people have different views on his books because although it's a 'middle school age,' novel, it has quite a serious topic. You can find the book here. But, that all aside, I really love this quote. Often times, a certain question is asked, "Are you a good person?" If you answered 'yes,' you're wrong. And if you answered 'no,' you are also wrong.

For some reason, we believe that we are a very binary people. We're either right or wrong, good or bad, nice or mean. But the truth is we're not all one thing or another. We're neither good or bad, we're both. And this is why I love this quote so much. It puts the thought so eloquently. Every day is different, you can't be a good person all the live long day. We're human and we make mistakes; now don't get confused, that doesn't mean we should give up. That means that we should improve ourselves and try to do better next time. That is the whole reason for life; to improve yourself and be the very best version of you, that you can be. If we make the wrong decision, we are technically in the 'dark,' but there's always a way to step into the light. People are never all in the light or all in the dark, but there's certainly a way to be more in the light than the dark. Moving in and out of darkness only means we're human, but hopefully we're the kind of human who likes the light, not like Hitler or anyone; he definitely liked the dark.

Are You Certain You're Right?

"The people on the extreme sides of such questions often seem very certain about the right answer. But some people would rather be certain than right."
-Bruce C. Hafen

I like this quote because it has a lot of truth to it. I think that the fear of being wrong partly stems fromt the fact that we are human, and simply don't like to be wrong. Period. The end. In other regards, I also think that we don't want to be wrong because the truth is hard; it hurts.

Take the situation of Person A currently dating Person B. Person A has dated Person C a period of time ago. Person A and Person C meet together and have lunch. Later that day, Person B asks, "Where were you at lunch?" Person A responds, "Oh I had some homework/meeting/work thing to attend to." Person B is certain Person A is lying, and yet tells himself or herself "There's nothing to worry about." This is a microscopic example of how people would rather be certain than right. Person B's intuition is that Person A is lying, but is so sure, so confident that person A would never ever lie to himself or herself. So he or she deludes himself or herself into the lie.

Although a small example, the same process occurs with bigger issues on a communal, national, even global scale. When the truth manifests itself, the world comes crashing down. We relise that nothing is what we want it to be, and more importantly how we think it should be. Although people usually laugh when the phrase, "the truth hurts," this statement really hits home. Unfortunately, sometimes there is more comfort in a lie than in a truth.

Be Your Own Individual

"Groups tend to be more immoral than individuals."
-Reinhold Niebuhr

Although pretty self-explanatory, I like this quote because it pretty much explain about 70% of all problems in the world. For example, on a large scale, Nazi Germany. If the Nazis didn't have the support of the German people, there's no way those atrocities would have gone on for so long. I mean, they had lots of other things going for them too, but one of the easiest ways that Hitler controlled them was through herd-poisoning.

On a smaller scale, bullies in any setting (but we'll just focus on the playground). How many bullies do you see waltzing around by themselves? Chances are something you'll find them with at least two side-kicks. Bullies might start off by themselves, but they often attract other bullies. This them boosts their ego and then the group frequently moves from occupying the slides, to dominating the swings—the most sought after real estate on the jungle gym.

There is strength in numbers and it is painfully easy to go with the group, yet another reason why groups are dangerous. When separated, with no other influence, individuals are more likely to state their own opinion; rather than when standing next to the person who has the executioner on speed-dial.

This could be a reason why so much emphasis is placed on people to be their own person, unique, an individual; individuals can think for themselves, they have the morality groups will never attain.

It's YOUR Soul

"I will permit no man to degrade me soul by making me hate him"
-Booker T. Washingotn

I love this quote so much. It's one of the first ones I ever wrote down. But this quote contains so much power. It tells the reader plainly and frankly that you are always in control about how you feel about someone. Adding in a little religion. The Bible says to "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" Matt 5:44, and I agree with that. It means that you should love and forgive everyone no matter what they do to you. I don't know about you, but I just feel happier and lighter when I'm not fighting with someone. Life seems better and brighter. It's your soul and your life. Why should you taint it just because someone did something to upset you. Why should you waste your thoughts on something you had control over?

If you spend your entire life thinking about all bad things people have done to you, you'll never live, because you'll use up all your time thinking. I know it's easier said than done, but just choosing not to hate someone is so much of a relief. In my experience, it takes effort to be angry at someone. But it's easy to let the anger go. You are in control of your own actions, so why not be in control of your own soul?

The Person You're Searching For

"Home is wherever I'm with you."
-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Going to Brigham Young University-Idaho is such a great experience, despite the cold and dry climate. Even though I'm only entering my third semester this fall, I've already seen 3 of my friends get married/engaged. There's people all over the place tying the knot and somewhere in the middle of it I'm supposed to find that 'special someone' too. Can you say nerve racking? If you said 'no,' you're obviously already married or are in a committed relationship. So because of all of this, I think about marriage more than your average young Joe.

I confess, I'm actually really nervous about it. Being with someone for eternity is an awfully nice idea, but making it happen is a whole other ball game. I'm worried that I'll choose the wrong person. But, because I have been thinking about it a lot, I've come to the conclusion that the person you should marry is the person you can talk and laugh and just spend time with, fluently. Someone you feel at home with... And I figure, people almost always feel at 'home' in their physical houses; and whom may be in those houses? Why the people you love of course. For better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, there's no way I'd ever desert my loving and patient mother, and energetic and witty sister. I always feel effortless when I'm with them.
"Home, let me go home./
Home is wherever I'm with you/"

Our Positions in Society

"Men are naturally equal, and none ever rose above the rest but by Force of Consent:"
-John Trenchard and Thomas Gordon

At first when I first wrote this quote down, I thought it was quite clever. Then when I put it on here to write about it, I hit a wall. I wasn't sure what to write about, it didn't seem as profound until I thought about it harder and deeper. Obviously this quote heavily relates to slavery. This is clearly the case with the slave owners. The reason some were 'above' their slaves because they 'bought' them. That is a 'force of consent.' The longer I think about 'force of consent,' and the situations that it applies to, the more I think it is usually an intangible thing and how much it relates to the person 'below.' I also think it applies a lot to how we place ourselves in relation to others.

Sometimes, when we feel inferior to other people, it usually means they are a bully. Because we feel inferior to them, that makes them 'above' us. And although they didn't buy us or torture us the fact is that we gave them that consent. Now I'm not saying that the bully isn't wrong, I'm saying that we have the power to make them 'above' us; but we also have the power to make us equal to them again.

Recipe for Creativity

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."
-Joseph Chilton Pearce

I don't know what exactly I like so much about this quote. But one of the things I like about it is that it implies that it's okay if we're wrong. Humans have this fear of being wrong and have the need to always be right. But being wrong is how we learn; it's how we grow and change. Creativity is what makes life interesting. If no one ever did anything wrong we would never progress, never questions, never dig deeper; we would never think outside the box, or in other words, live a creative life.

It's All You

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self."
-Ernest Hemingway

I like this quote a lot because it not only says something profound, but also helps the reader undersand it in the next part. "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man," When people think of nobility, usually kings and queens come to mind; being of noble status. However, nobility can also mean 'fine personal qualities,' or 'high moral principles.' This quote could possibly be talking about this definition. If so, this quote is saying, "It doesn't matter if your morals are better than everyone else's. As long as you're improving, yourself you are a good person." I think this quote is referring to that. No one can judge you, you are your own person. There is no 'standard perfect person,' We are all human. Everyone makes mistakes. While some mistakes are bigger than others, everyone deserves a second chance. The important thing is to learn from them, and if you're doing that, it does not matter what other people think—and more importantly, what other people say.

Forgive and Forget

"We can all be a little more forgiving."
-Howard W. Hunter

I love this quote; I think it's so wise. There are so many things that wrong us in one day. They may not be big things, but they are there. The majority of them are forgotten and we go on with our day. It would be so tiresome to keep track of all the wrongs all people have done to us in only one day. When we let go of feelings of anger and resentment we can be happier. I've never heard of someone who's happy and angry at the same time. I've heard of people who are happy and hurt. Hurt is something that always fades with time, but anger is something that we can let go of because it doesn't involve anyone except ourselves. Often times, forgiving is the easiest way to let go of anger. Forgiving is like a conscious effort to forget.

May 22, 2013:
I've discovered that forgiveness is a gift that you not only give to others, but it's also something you give to yourself. When feelings are hurt, forgiveness is something that liberates you. I've recently discovered that forgiveness is when you dust yourself off and pick yourself off without waiting for someone or something else to lift you. Forgiveness is how your heal yourself. The other person may do all in their power to make it up to you, or to fix the problem; but until you help yourself, no one anyone does will make a difference.

There are Shadows Everywhere.

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining nearby."
-Ruth E. Renkel

I'd like to place this into the category of too much cheese on the cheeseburger. But after thinking about it a little bit, I was struck by the implication it has. Never fear shadows, never fear shadows, never fear shadows. I think this quote is more about overcoming fear. And as we all know, overcoming fears, or anything for that matter, requires courage. Courage isn't always the person who volunteers to go to war. Sometimes, courage is the person who stays to comfort those left behind. This quote also encourages courage in another way. It says not to give in, for the light is coming; whatever challenge you are facing will become easier to bear.

It's no one's fault but our own.

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”
-Cassius

This is a quote that I haven't had for very long, but I was instantly struck by it. I was reading "The Fault in Our Stars," by John Green. You can find a summary here. I think this is possibly his best book yet. He, of course, derived the title of his book from Cassius.

The word stars could imply the future, and I think that is what Cassius was getting at. In my opinion, this quote is saying that it's not the future we should be looking at.  Cassius is saying that we should think not just about the present, and what we are doing with it. But what we are physically doing with ourselves. The problem isn't our future, the problem is ourselves. It's not, we have to make sure our future is secure; it's we have to make sure we are secure with ourself. By changing ourselves, we are changing our future.

This one is really about thoughts; literally.

"There are no facts, only interpretations."
—Freidrich Nietzsche

So this is a quote that I ran across when I was looking at a group on Facebook called, "Truth Beckons." In all honestly, I believe that they post a lot of good things. It bothers me a bit that they flag Israel as the enemy so much, but that's another quote, and another opinion.

This quote has always meant a lot to me. I think of it as: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not everything is black and white. I don't believe that there is more than a handful of questions one can answer, 'yes or 'no' to. "Would you like fries with that?" is one of them; it's really very simple. You either are hungry for fries or you're not. The situations regarding 'Israel vs. Pakistan', the food industry in the United States, Malaria in Africa, and gender equality, poverty, and hunger in the world are questions that take a little more time. No matter how long people debate these situations, they simply cannot come up with a solution that makes everyone happy.

And that, my dear friends, is why this quote has literally no power when stating an opinion. When trying to instill your opinion on anything, saying this quote is like whipping out the white flag (placed conveniently in your pocket of course) and waving it in your 'opponent's' face. You are stating your opinion as fact—that's why you are arguing with this said person—but this quote says that your opinion isn't fact. It's only another interpretation.

Dr. Seuss' Sluthes.

In honor of Dr. Seuss' belated birthday, today's quote is from possibly the greatest children's book of all time; The Lorax. Now, I understand that there is a movie about this 'blessing from heaven.' If you haven't read it, but have seen the movie, reflect on your actions, and read the book; Reviews from this movie are—as usual—in a non-agreement stage. But that's no reason that the book is bad. Movies are usually a poor representation of what the author actually wanted to portray, but that's for another time. Back to the Seusster, Even books written by him in the 1960s, are still extremely popular, and have great lessons for kids (and maybe some adults too). And I for one, am ecstatic that this quote was included if not in the movie, then at least the preview:

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing's going to get better, it's not."

Wise words Dr. Seuss, wise words indeed. Not only is is radical and inspirational, it also rhymes! Need I say more? I don't think so, but I will anyway. The funny thing about Dr. Seuss' books is that he never wrote them with a moral in mind, or so he claims. He said that "Kids can see a moral a mile away." That's very true; Hansel and Gretel, don't go into strange people's houses, especially ones made out of candy; Little Red Ridding Hood, don't talk to strangers, especially the wolves; Goldilocks and the Three Bears, don't go into someone's house eat their porridge, and sleep in their bed. Although Dr. Seuss didn't write specifically with a moral in mind, the Lorax is heavy propaganda against pollution and has numerous environmental elements in it; I think this quote can be applied to topics other than 'saving the trees.' It is very general, no hint of petroleum or green energy is to be found. The word 'nothing' is vague enough that people can generalize and apply the concept to oodles of other things. For example, issues such as women's suffrage, the civil rights movement, and the abolition of slavery, etc. would have never happened unless someone cared. But because someone—or someones—said, "(topic) is not just! (topic) is not fair!" something was changed, something got better. And that's what this quote is really all about, standing up for what's right and changing things for the better.